i have two amazing mommy friends with one horrible thing in common. they repeatedly get asked when their baby is due. this by itself isn't awful if you are, in fact, pregnant. i'm sure you're seeing where i'm headed with this one. these friends of mine, while they have beautiful babies, aren't having anymore.
i've heard people complain about how awful they feel because they have asked someone when they are due only to be told in a curt fashion that the woman isn't pregnant. i'm sorry. you're complaining because you feel bad? think about how you just made that other woman feel.
when my girlfriend first told me what was repeatedly happening to her, my only response was, "well, those people are idiots." i know, those are harsh words...words my kids would get in big trouble for saying. still, i'm standing by them.
i get the confusion. some people still hold onto post baby weight and sometimes that weight is carried in their belly. still, if we can all walk away from this post with a lesson in our pockets this is it: if we are going to ask someone when they are due, we'd better be 100% sure that person is pregnant.
here's how you can know for sure:
1. the person knows you well enough that they have told you they are pregnant. if you have a
friendship with someone and you know the facts, by all means, be a good friend and show your interest.
2. the woman is so hugely pregnant that there is no mistaking. when i'm talking huge, i'm talking third trimester, waddling around like a penguin, wearing flip-flops in december, puffy face, walking like there's a baseball between her legs kind of huge. if the woman isn't so big that she looks like her water could break on the floor of target while she's shopping, don't ask her when she's due.
this might sound extreme but, really, is this a mistake we want to make with other women? isn't being a mommy and giving up your "never had a baby body" hard enough without having to endure devastating comments? when in doubt, chicken out. it works for driving and for opening big mouths as well.
I remember being so excited on the day I woke up and actually LOOKED preggo (not just like I had a beer belly.) people began asking when I was due and it made me happy to be big enough for etiquette to allow those convos.ReplyDelete
My son is 5 months and they're days I still look pregnant. I would never ask someone how far along they are unless I'm 110% sure. I'm just super sensitive about that and anyone who does that is a terd!