Tuesday, July 21, 2015

you're never as happy as you look on facebook.



you're never as happy as you look on facebook. it's a true statement, right? life isn't perfect. there are hard days......hard weeks......hard years. 


we all have our moments; it's real life. but how many of us actually post those less-than-perfect moments on social media? not me. do you? 


i know that i'm only posting the happy snapshots. i am pretty sure that is what all of my "friends" are posting....but still i find myself browsing my facebook feed at times and feeling downright sorry for myself and playing the comparison game. you know the one i'm talking about, right?  that friend from college seems to have the most perfect marriage......that high school friend seems to be the world's most perfect mommy and is always doing amazing things with her kids......the grass somehow appears greener in everyone's life, at times. 


a few years ago, i reconnected with an old high school friend through facebook. i had just started going though my divorce. she had gone through a divorce as well. did i take and post photos of me curled in a ball on the bathroom floor sobbing while my children slept in the next room? heck, no. did she post photos like that? nope. but we re-connected because we, while scanning the facebook feed, looked not at what everyone was showing us......but the absence of what they were no longer showing. 


there were no status updates from my sweet friend detailing the destruction of her marriage. 


there were no sob stories from me about feeling lonely and overwhelmed with my new circumstance.


what there was was an absence of happy family photos with a hubby in them. 


what we saw was more mama and kiddo photos overall, and less status updates, in general. 


my friend looked at facebook. she looked, she noticed the absence and she reached out......and i am forever grateful. 


she was a lamppost in a very dark and confusing time for me of change. lampposts will help. they will get you through any challenge. people are amazing lampposts. 


so, I urge you all, wonderful readers, to look at your facebook feed. really look. not at what someone is showing you, but the absence of what they are showing you. reach out to someone. and if you are struggling, be brave enough to be vulnerable and authentic to someone that reaches out. 

none of us are perfect. we each have flaws. we all have bad moments. you don't have to flood your facebook feed with "eeyore-like", woe is me moments, but you don't have to be perfect either. i'm not. i need to make sure i am not comparing my behind-the-scenes moments with someone else's highlight reel. 

i need to know more people aren't perfect. 


it's #RealLife, friends. 


embrace it.