Tuesday, May 17, 2011

the third boob: the story that started it all...


the third boob. there has to be a story there. well, here it is in all its lengthy glory. there has been no other mommyhood story to top it. so, here is the story that started it all.



the first pregnancy is the most exciting. that's not to say that other pregnancies aren't full of wonder but the first one is full of all things new. every change is a new experience and the unknown helps to add to the thrill of it all. i was like a lot of first time pregnant moms. i enjoyed that first pregnancy...until i noticed a kiwi sized lump growing in my armpit. the worst of scenarios raced through my mind. did i have cancer? was this a tumor? when the doctor ordered an ultrasound of the lump, i was thinking the worst.



sitting in the office of the ultrasound technician, i stared at the monitor trying to figure out what she was seeing on that little screen. "what is it?" "all i can see is breast tissue. i'll send the results to your doctor." i felt a sense of relief. no tumor, just breast tissue...in my armpit. i had no idea why that would be and my ob-gyn was actually of very little help in that department. i was told it was just breast tissue. breasts swell during pregnancy and that it should go back to normal after giving birth. this was a great theory but, after looking around, no other pregnant women seemed to be walking around with a kiwi in one pit.


finally a lactation consultant friend of mine told me it could be an extra mammary gland. this was confirmed in the hospital after i gave birth to my first son. a second lactation consultant came in to check on the nursing situation and i blurted out, "i think i have a third boob." to this, in the tradition of lactation consultants getting all up in your boob business, she peeled back my hospital gown to examine the said appendage. here's where it gets good. this lady had all the good intel. apparently, your milk lines run from your armpit all the way down your abdomen (think a cat or a dog with a litter of puppies). you can be born with extra mammary glands or extra nipples anywhere along your milk line and, unless you have a visible nipple, you may not know it's even there until your breasts swell during pregnancy. the consultant then proceeded to tell me that there was a woman in the hospital the day before with eight boobs. (i can hear the collective gasps through the computer.) i all of a sudden felt pretty happy just to have the one. she then continued by saying that it would go away after nursing and that, because there was no visible nipple, it would dry up and shrink back to its former undetectable size.


here is where she got it wrong. my milk finally came in for my first born and while i was nursing him, i asked my husband if he'd turn up the air conditioning because i felt like i was sweating profusely. i then looked down to see that no, i wasn't sweating. what i thought had been the tiniest of brown freckles was instead a nipple that was currently dripping milk down into a puddle on my shirt. yep...sign me up for the circus people. not only do i have a third boob but it lactates. doesn't get much better than that.


i had to nurse with a towel in my armpit and while most nursing moms got to walk around with just absorbent breast pads in their nursing bras, i got to do that and wear a huge band-aid on my armpit. just so we're all aware here, my son was born in june...tank top weather. it was fabulous.


between baby one and two, i had the boob surgically removed. there's still breast tissue in there and with each pregnancy, it swells up to say hello. at least there isn't a nipple. i'm fine with the third boob thing...just not the wet clothing every time i need to nurse or hear a baby crying.


so, there you have it. i think the third boob can give everyone a brighter outlook on life and on their after-baby bodies. your stomach may look like a venetian blind from the stretch marks you earned or you may have skin that now somehow resembles an elephant's trunk. still, looking in the mirror at yourself you can always say, "at least it doesn't lactate." so, here's to you, third boob. thanks for making most of the world feel a little bit better about themselves...and for giving us a great story to tell. cheers!

109 comments:

  1. LOVE it! Great post! I was literally laughing out loud! Isn't motherhood just fabulous?! Hope you keep up the great posts! I got your email & I'm your newest follower!!

    Best,

    Susan

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  2. Love it!! THANK YOU for sending me a message to let me know about your blog! I am now a follower! I'll also link you guys on my page. Us mommy bloggesses have to promote each other!

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  3. I LOVE your blog! Thank you for messaging me to tell me about it! You've done a wonderful job! I'm following! :)

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  4. Fantastic! What a great (and pretty unique, I hope) story. Motherhood certainly is one big unfolding mystery huh!?

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  5. Who knew?!

    Well, apparently the lactation consultant did... but I had no idea! : )

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  6. As a 40 year old mom of a 10 month old, still wondering if I will ever loose those extra pounds, this story gave me something to be thankful for. Good luck with the blog. I will share. Smiles

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  7. Wow that's one crazy story! (ANd all kidding aside I am glad it wasn't cancer...I had a little pea-sized lump in my right boob a few years ago but it was just fibrocystic tissue...no third boob for me DAMMIT!) :)

    Thanks for the laugh. Laughter is the best medicine. That and a good nightly glass of wine or two.

    Congrats on the blog...love it!

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  8. Oh my goodness!! I never knew about this before... what an experience!! I love your happy perspective through it all, well most of it ;) Crazy!

    ~Tabitha

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  9. Just when you think you've heard it all...wow! I think I can stop randomly roaming the net and go to bed on this note. What could top it?

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  10. Okay, you put my second uterus to shame {yes, really!}

    I'm a new fan now! LOVE your story!

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  11. I have never heard of that before! Wow. Well, you got a new follower outta me with that one!

    Nancy

    I hope you'll follow me back at http://thatsoundslikecrazy.blogspot.com

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  12. Great post! New follower here. Imagine 8 boobs! Yes I did gasp! Hope you'll stop by http://www.momsownwords.com to follow back!

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  13. Ever seen David Cronenberg's Rabid? That's a similar story, except that it's a horror film ;-)

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  14. Soooo funny! Great job. Thanks for letting me know about it. If you could only capitalize each new sentence (sorry for the nitpick), otherwise its great! I'll be back to read again and check out Moms in Boyland when you have chance. Cheers!

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  15. hi nacia! thanks for coming to check us out. sorry about the lack of caps....it does not come from a lack of understanding on how to use punctuation.....it is just sort of our thing on "the third boob". :-) don't hate us for it, pretty please. looking forward to checking out your blog today! welcome!

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  16. I have never heard of that before! Like the post, I'll follow you, I have a cooking blog but is in spanish hope you can follow me as well.

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  17. I actually have a friend with 5 nipples. All of which swelled and leaked when she had her son over a year ago. However, none were in her armpit. The were all on the upper part of her stomach just below her regular boobs. Nice blog. I hope you stop by mine for a short peek.

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  18. Hi, great story! I'm hopping as the spotlight blog on cup of joe blog hop. Come follow me back? www.weidknecht.com

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  19. That was a great story, and most of all, I love your positive outlook! I'd never heard of such a thing before, but it does make sense now that I think about it! When I lactate, I always feel like I'm sweating extra in my armpits--that could be why! But nope, no extra nipples--and yes, I just checked! Ha!
    Best regards,
    Ang (www.themomjournal.weebly.com)

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  20. i loved this post! you now have a new follower! this was probably one of the best posts i've read so far. thanks for the story! :)

    http://amommyslifestyle.blogspot.com

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  21. LOVED this post! You're newest follower :)

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  22. This is really funny and informative, jeje.
    Thanks for sharing!

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  23. I'm still laughing! Great post! I'm your newest follower!

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  24. Oh my goodness!! What a story to tell, you can save that one for your sons girlfriends...he will love that!! Haha!! I'm your newest friend from Mom Bloggers Club btw...

    Julie

    http://www.blog.juliegphotography.net

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  25. wow that was great I needed the giggle! I did not know that was even possible! Cheers to you for laughing at yourself!

    I cannot wait to hear more mommy stories

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  26. Wow. I never knew this was possible. Great story and post. Thank-you. I am a new follower and I would love for you to visit me too @ @http://www.mommiesandbeyond.com and tell me what you think about kids using face book!

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  27. This is really an eye opener! I never knew something like that was possible! At least you can laugh about it now.

    Following from stayhomemomblog.com
    Take care!

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  28. Wow! I have three kids and had never heard of the possibility of extra breast tissue! I got your message from MomBloggersClub and am following you on FB. Look forward to reading more.

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  29. Oh my gosh, amazing story! A little scary for the poor 8 boobed lady, though. Sorry it took so long for me to come by. We connected at Mom Bloggers. I'm a new follower, too!

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  30. How scary, crazy and funny! Never heard of that, but I can see how it is possible.

    Stopping by from <3 http://athriftydiva.com

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  31. Well, there you have it. That is a great story. I cared for a woman who had this exactly thing, but one under each armpit. She had to walk around like the Incredible Hulk from about the 7th month on.

    You are the kind of person I like: someone who can make lemons out of lemonade, or, in your case, a blog out of a third boob.

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  32. OMG. Thanks for offering the belly laugh at your expense!

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  33. Amazing! You are very brave to share your story! I think you helped a lot of women who wouldn't say anything! I love your sense of humour and honesty! :)
    Jo-Anna

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  34. Okay, you win the prize - that's the best pregnancy story ever!

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  35. Yes, I walked back up to the hotel room (paused to giggle at the "No Molestar" sign) and immediately read this post. Ha! Love it. Great story. Officially paranoid!

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  36. I had heard of third nipples but I didn't know you could actually have another working boob. I feel really bad for the woman with eight. She must've felt like she was preparing for a litter of puppies. And you are right about the lactation specialists getting all up in your business. They can be pretty blunt. They told me my nipples were flat and they called my beautiful new baby daughter a slug because she kept falling asleep at the nipple and had trouble latching on. There's a post, huh? Congrats on your SITS guest post! I am going to follow you. Hope you will visit me too at http://www.suburbanlifejournal.com/

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  37. Thanks for sharing this. You have a great sense of humour. Glad you can laugh it off, life is easier that way, eh?

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  38. Yep.. Really rather common in the big picture. I am a fromer LC ( as in yep.. I have handled a lot of boobs that are not my own- for money even!).. Glad yours gave us this wonderful blog!

    Maddie

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    1. love it! glad to know someone else out there has some experience with the extra boob knowledge!

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  39. I love this post- smiling throughout & still while commenting!

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  40. Hysterical! (and educational...I had no idea of the science of lactation..)

    Stopped by from SITS today :)

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    1. you learn something new everyday, right! glad we could pass the boob knowledge along!

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  41. I have noticed that some men act like doggies but now I see that some women can nurse like them too. Eight?! Crack up! Stopping by from SITS!

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    1. can you even imagine eight? i can't tell you how many comments i've gotten about being ready for triplets...

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  42. There is nothing like someone else's issues to make you feel better about your own :-)

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  43. Wow! At least you have a sense of humor about your third boob. And, really, why wouldn't you? At least you don't have 8! It's gonna be hard to beat that story!

    Happy SITS Day!

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  44. I really did gasp at the woman with eight - good Lord! That is some kind of crazy story. Glad it landed you with a fabulous blog title, and also glad for you that you had the nipple removed. No need for extra nursing pads, thank you very much.

    Happy SITS day!

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    1. i wish nursing pads would have worked...had to use an oversized band-aids. thought you would appreciate that visual...

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  45. The things mothers go through! When you hear women get into their birth stories and they start trying to top each other, you must have so much fun waiting for just the right moment to drop that bomb! Happy SITS day!

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    1. it does make for a good story...and i haven't heard one yet to top it. there was an extra uterus once...that came close.

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  46. Ok, this is the FIRST time I've heard of this! What a great post! (And you know everyone has to read this story after hearing your blog title!) Have a great SITS day!

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    1. thanks! we're so glad you stopped by. it's good to know, right?

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  47. Thank you for this...

    God truly has a sense of humor... and then if you think about it... we are animals in the animal kingdom...

    Just think, if you had triplets that first time... you could have fed all three at the same time and then you would not have had to go through each subsequent pregnancy.

    Great Post.

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    1. that would have been great...i have five kids though so i still would have been preggers twice more. oh well...

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  48. Pregnancy creates the weirdest situations in our bodies and they are so unpredictable. Eight Boobs? Is it that common? Love your sense of humor and willingness to share. Thank you. Happy SITS day.

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    1. i've heard from lactation consultants that it's pretty common. makes you think, doesn't it?

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  49. You are truly educating the public! Seems like no one knows about this and it's not exactly uncommon! For all I know, it could happen to me and now I'll be able to laugh about it instead of freak out. Thanks for sharing, visiting from SITS :)

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    1. i think it's my personal mission to let the world know. if i sit next to you on an airplane or subway, it's usually my opening line.

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  50. Wow. Who would have though??? I never realized that that was even humanly possible - and you say one woman had 8?? Wow.
    Yep, I'd have had the nipple removed too. My breasts leaked enough as it was.

    Happy SITS day.

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    1. i hear you! it wasn't pretty...i'll just say that!

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  51. Thanks for sharing! It's good to know this is a possibility.
    Happy SITS day!

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    1. it's always good to be informed. i wish i would have known before i had kids. i'll just keep spreading the word until the whole world knows.

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  52. That was blogworthy! Happy SITS day!

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  53. That was a great story!! And I didn't know that could happen. Learn something new every day.

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  54. Ahhhh the joys of being a woman! What a great story! I am your newest follower from SITS! Head over to the Lone Tater and see me!

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  55. Ohhh, this is awesome!!! Would you mind if I highlight this story on my blog? (jenheadjen.blogspot) Hope not! Thanks for sharing, either way! Happy SITS day! :)

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    1. we'd be honored. thanks for thinking of us!

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  56. Awesome story - the lactation consultants are in a competition with the nurses for who is more valuable. I couldn't have made it through nursing my first one without my lactation consultant and couldn't have made it through labor without my nurse and doula.

    Fascinating story - definitely worthy of a blog. Hope you are having a great SITS day!

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    1. thanks! nurses and lactation consultants...both are pretty awesome. i don't know what i would have done without my lactation consultant telling me that i wasn't a freak show.

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  57. Love your telling of this, and I feel like I learned something new! Happy SITS Day!!

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    1. so glad we could share the story! thanks for stopping by!

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  58. Wow...that was news to me! I had no idea that was even possible! I feel smarter now.

    Happy SITS day!

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    1. amazing, isn't it! thanks for stopping by. glad we could make you feel smarter!

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  59. omg. enjoyed this story. Enjoy your sits day!

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  60. Visiting from SITS. I am TOTALLY going to look at my husband the next time my son does something awful and say "At least he doesn't lactate". Visiting from SITS

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    Replies
    1. it works in so many circumstances, right?

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  61. Great story - thanks for sharing!

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  62. oh.my. I cannot even imagine having to deal with that along with learning how to care with a newborn. I learned something new today. lol

    Stopping by from SITS.

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    1. it did make things interesting...and bring on a whole new level of humility...

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  63. This made me laugh out loud for real! Great post! And I actually had no idea about breast tissue going from the armpit to the belly button, lol

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  64. I needed this laugh! I actually looked down at my stomach today and wondered if I would forever look 5 months pregnant! Still laughing... :)

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    1. the third boob does make you feel better, doesn't it? it's like a weird little ray of sunshine.

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  65. Hilarious! Stopping by from SITS.

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  66. THAT is a great story to use when you want to break the ice at a dinner party. Yep, definitely :)

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    1. i use it all the time. i think my husband it probably over it.

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  67. funny story. although i can imagine it may not have been funny at that time. visiting from SITS!

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    1. thanks for stopping by. at the time, it was a little hard to laugh at...especially when little kids would point and stare as milk leaked from my pit. oh well...sure is funny now!

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  68. I'll be honest, I was totally drawn here by the name of your blog. I'm sure it wasn't funny at the time, but what a great story!

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    1. we love that the boob brought you over! we hope you stay a while!

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  69. Every problem I ever had with any of my pregnancies now seems insignificant. Thank you.

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    1. you are welcome! we are glad we could help.

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  70. Best. Story. Ever. Learn something new everyday! Pleasure to meet you ladies. Looking forward to laughing a lot more with you over the next 2 days! Cheers!

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  71. love this story... feel like we're sisters/pals/third boob buddies;) i found your blog through a pin on pinterest but the name certainly drew my attention as i am one of the lucky few moms that get to hail the third boob while pregnant!!! actually my story is super similar... but i announced my subsequent pregnancies by saying (to close friends) 3rd boob is back;) love this. so much:)

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    1. oh gus, you are a long lost sister. there have been others that have come forward too. i love the third (or fourth or fifth) boob sisterhood.

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  72. Fantastic. Simply fantastic.

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