my army of women

my husband has been working a lot lately. with his law enforcement job, it is anyone's guess when or if he'll be home on any given night. normally i can handle the masses but yesterday was a different story. my toddler was on day four of a raging fever and that night, while my husband was out chasing some bad men, my daughter got sick as well. i was up all night with the pair of them. as 7:00 AM rolled around and my other three stirred, i knew i was in need of reinforcements. i'd used the last of the fever reducers over night and there was no way i was going to be able to drag all five to the store.

i contemplated what i could do...leave them at home? take a couple of them? wait until my husband magically returned from work? i wanted to be self-sufficient but when it came right down to it, i knew it was time to wave the white flag of surrender and see if there was anyone who might be willing to help a mom out. i posted this to facebook:

that was it. a simple cry for help in the middle of my sleep deprived morning. i figured someone had to be heading for the store during the day. still, it was hard for me to press send. it was hard to admit i needed help. i liked feeling like i was the rocking mother of five. and yet, when it came right down to it, i figured between the killing of my pride and a trip with five kids to the store, i'd bury my pride and stay at home.

the crazy thing? the response. within minutes someone offered to pick up the medicine. i thought the flurry of messages would end after that but that was just the beginning. there was this:

and this...

and this...

and this...

and those were just the facebook messages. by the afternoon, there were 36 facebook messages offering help. there were several texts from friends. not only did i get the two bottles of medicine, but my favorite drink from starbucks. someone else brought me juice and a party tray of chicken nuggets and fruit from chick-fil-a for lunch. i had three offers for dinner, two people who just came and dropped off food. countless others texted me throughout the day to see how i was.

my friends from out of the area chimed in on facebook too. their responses?

it's hard to believe places like this exist. i was and am still honestly awed by it all. what a remarkable group of people surround me, right? they truly are some of the greatest people on earth, in the greatest neighborhood on earth, from the greatest church on earth, in the greatest town on earth. i know i am blessed.

the more i got to thinking, though, the more i realized that this is how life is supposed to be. we are supposed to count on each other. we are supposed to live in community with one another, support one another, come along side one another, do life with one another. we're supposed to be honest, and vulnerable, and put our pride aside. the miraculous happens when we put aside the facebook and instagram version of ourselves and take a few minutes to just be real. the results are magical.

i may still be sleep deprived. i may still have two sick kids. my husband may still be a walking zombie. but i'm not alone. i'm surrounded by an army of amazing women who have my back. and just like that, am invincible. i think i may just go conquer the world. 

for more, read: no mom is an island and don't block my blessing.

don't block my blessing

i recently wrote a post about how much we moms need each other. i had such a positive response to that post that, as i mulled it over, i decided i needed to add one more note to moms everywhere. if you missed my first post, you can read it here.

no mom is an island

i've thought a great deal about how difficult it is for so many of us to accept the gift of help from someone else. words with negative connotations such as "hand outs" and "charity" come to mind. we have managed to misconstrue the loving kindness of others as a poor grade on the perpetual final exam that is motherhood. we become embarrassed and defiant when others offer to help. "how dare they offer such a thing? don't they see that i have it all together? i am perfectly capable of doing things on my own." any of that sound familiar? even if it is not the truth, it's the version that we like to claim for ourselves. 

believe me, i'm the worst offender. i don't like to admit weakness, in any form. i am ridiculously independent and stubborn. i like to feel like i have my act together. still, living like that is incredibly isolating. when i finally let my guard down and learn to accept the kindness of others, i have learned how real friendship looks. 

one of my wise and wonderful friends quickly picked up on my hesitance to accept help from anyone. she stopped me with one quick phrase, "don't block my blessing." we all know it's true, it's amazing to give to someone else and the blessings do come back to us tenfold. if we don't allow people to do things for us, we're blocking the tenfold blessing that will return to them. in one small phrase, the tables had turned. instead of me being selfish for taking the help of others, i became selfish to refuse it. there is so much power in those four little words. 

(yes, that's one of my toilets.)

if you think that you couldn't possibly accept the help of others, let me just tell you a story to compare all yours against. after i had my fourth sweet baby, my body went crazy. i had the sexy combination of arthritis, bursitis and tendinitis all at once (...and no, i'm not 95). every move i made was painful. i remember crying every time i picked up my baby from his crib because there wasn't a part of me that didn't hurt to hold him. add to that bit of horror the fact that my in-laws were coming to visit. i couldn't handle holding my baby, let alone a vacuum cleaner. one morning, there was a knock at my door. standing in my doorway were three of the greatest girlfriends anyone could ever ask for, armed with cleaning supplies and rubber gloves. they cleaned my entire house. you want to understand a new level of humility? stand by and watch your friend on her hands and knees, scrubbing the toilet in your bathroom. 

could i have cleaned it myself? probably. would i have figured a way to block out whatever pain i was feeling and suffer through it? i'm sure i would have. was it difficult to stand by and watch others do what would have been my responsibility? absolutely. did i cry with gratitude when they left? undoubtedly. were they blessed ten fold for blessing me? i can only hope. without question, that incident has motivated me to be there for someone else. if someone has a hard time receiving what i'd like to give, you can bet i'm pulling out all the stops... "don't block my blessing." i'm not sure what ten fold is going to look like but i'm certain it will be amazing.