Showing posts with label girlfriends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label girlfriends. Show all posts

Thursday, September 29, 2011

forwards and girlfriends




i hate forwards. hate. i seldom ever read them. in fact, they generally bug me. i ignore every one from the "send it to 10 people in the next hour and your dreams will come true" to the warnings of car jackings and that everything that i own or consume will give me cancer. today i received a forward from my mom (that generally feels the same way i do about them) that made me pause and read it. 

"i just finished taking an evening class at stanford. the last lecture was on the mind-body connection - the relationship between stress and disease. the speaker (head of psychiatry at stanford) said, among other things, that one of the best things that a man could do for his health is to be married to a woman, whereas for a woman, one of the best things she could do for her health was to nurture her relationships with her girlfriends.

at first everyone laughed, but he was serious.

women connect with each other differently and provide support systems that help each other to deal with stress and difficult life experiences. physically this quality “girlfriend time" helps us to create more serotonin - a neurotransmitter that helps combat depression and can create a general feeling of well being. women share feelings whereas men often form relationships around activities. they rarely sit down with a buddy and talk about how they feel about certain things or how their personal lives are going. jobs? yes. sports? yes. cars? yes. fishing, hunting, golf? yes. but their feelings? rarely. 

women do it all of the time. we share from our souls with our sisters/mothers, and evidently that is very good for our health. he said that spending time with a friend is just as important to our general health as jogging or working out at a gym.

there's a tendency to think that when we are "exercising" we are doing something good for our bodies, but when we are hanging out with friends, we are wasting our time and should be more productively engaged—not true. In fact, he said that failure to create and maintain quality personal relationships with other humans is as dangerous to our physical health as smoking!

so every time you hang out with a gal pal, just pat yourself on the back and congratulate yourself for doing something good for your health! we are indeed very, very blessed. sooooo let's appreciate our friendship with our girlfriends. evidently it's very good for our health."


for the record, i have no idea if this is true or not....but i sure hope it is. nothing makes me feel better than time spend with girlfriends and i *love* the idea that it could actually be healthy for me.....and the equivalent of a workout?! doubtful, but sign me up! what do you think?

Thursday, August 18, 2011

the dreaded phone call


last night i received a phone call that i have been hoping would never come. my good friend, leslie is unresponsive in an icu in california after years and years of battling cancer. what started as a small melanoma spread to her lymph nodes, the tissue around her breast, tumors to her brain. she has done amazingly well fighting this horrible disease and we have seen so many times when she was improving. she has been covered in love and prayers and now we have to trust that God has her life in his hands.

as i was sitting last night thinking about her life, so many things came to mind. you may be thinking, "is she going to go into a diatribe about wearing sunscreen?", "is this going to be a cancer prevention blog?" while those things are important, those things didn't stand out to me as i was thinking about leslie. different things came to mind.

that girl knew how to have a good time. i have hundreds of memories with her...laughing, crying, but generally just having an amazing time together. we took an adult beginner's tap dancing class together. seriously, i've never laughed so hard in all my life! there is nothing like watching grown-ups try to learn new tricks and all of a sudden try to gain coordination that wasn't there before. i now know why my parents never signed me up for dance classes as a child. grace is not my thing.

there were countless coffees, dinners out, shopping trips, girl trips to hawaii or to see a broadway show. she is a great friend and i am so glad that i poured myself and my time into someone as wonderful as she. so, here's my sobering word to the wise this morning: take time for girlfriends. i get it. i have four kids i'm chasing around all the time. i know how hard it is to brush your teeth some days, let alone spend time with friends. i know that a dinner out means cutting back on what you feed your family when you're eating in. still, it is so very important.

good girlfriends are magical. they can tell you that certain pants make your butt look big in ways that your husband never should. they can make you laugh when you think you're losing your mind because they have been there before. they can take your mind off of all the normal details of your day by giving a listening ear or sharing a story that puts your day to shame. they can share your life in ways that your husband alone never could.

how about you? do you have a girlfriend you need to call today? do you have a life you need to invest in? i know, it won't be easy; something in your home will fall through the cracks. still, you won't regret taking time for yourself to be with your girlfriends. with leslie, i don't regret a minute or a dime i spent with her. while my heart aches to think of this world without her, i am blessed to have a mind full of the memories of her...and of our friendship together.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

mommy wars

does anyone else feel it, or is it just me? you know what i mean....the crazy competition that begins the moment that you conceive, really.

 everyone seems to have an opinion on the "right" way to do things.... the debate between working mommies vs. the stay-at-home mommies, store bought baby food vs. homemade, organic vs. not, breastfed vs formula, epidural vs natural birth.....don't even get me started on the kid milestones (who is walking, talking, crawling, etc.).

 why does everyone care so much about what everyone else is doing? why do we feel the need sometimes to be "right" about the way that we are raising our kids? is it because we are all afraid to admit that we are all just figuring it out as we go along, that we know we will make countless mistakes by the time our children are raised and we just need to know that we are not screwing it up in the beginning? mommies with older kids, does this crazy competition thing with other moms continue as your children grow?


this video is funny. seriously funny....and sort of sad at the same time, don't ya think?

come on. we all know one mom like this, right? maybe you can even admit that you are "that mom". has anyone had an encounter like this?

why can't we all just respect that everyone has different needs, every child is different and that we all make our own individual choices based on what works for us or what is important for us. is there really a "right" way to do things?

 i think we should all take a moment to stop.

 go on (yes, you).

 now take a really big breath.

 exhale.

now give yourself the permission to accept that the choices you have made for you and your family are wonderful for you.....and equally fantastic are the choices someone else has made for themselves.

it's okay.

nothing more to see here. move along.

after all, wouldn't this world be a pretty boring place if we were all the same?